INTRODUCTION TO THE STORIES
(Notice from the Commander In Chief)
Department of the Navy
US Submarine Base
The USS SEADOG now has a crew of 54 Wheatens who have reported for duty, but your Executive Officer/Recruiting Officer, Lt. Liam, believes that there will be more signing up before the time of embarkation.
I wish to inform you that I will be joining you on this Tour of Duty, but that at all times you will remain the Captain of the submarine.
I look forward to meeting you and your crew.
Commander In Chief of Wheatenville Forces.
Andrew. (Admiral )
(This appeared shortly after in the USS SEADOG'S newsletter, named, “SEADOG SHENANIGANS” – which is compiled by War Correspondents, - Lt Scruffy, and Petty Officers Blondie, Scooch and Boogie, with the help of the Officer for Naval Protocol, Lt. Bonnie Blue. )
Well, the USS SEADOG is to have an ADMIRAL on board, and not only that, but the Commander In Chief himself! NOW you’ll have to watch your “P’s” and “Q’s” Shipmates!!
I wonder if we should invite the Admiral on our Pub-Crawl? Hmmm. I think that might cramp our style, don’t you?
Don’t forget the shindig at Lt. Robbie’s place. BYO grog. Robbie says he’s got a BIG fridge! He also has a cool pool, so don’t forget your bathers. (Remember, there’ll be ladies present!) The sub’s photographic team, Ensign Buster and PO Ginger will be there to take memorable pictures, so don’t forget to brush your teeth and bring along your best smiles for the cameras.
A few directives about the Pub-Crawl.
1. DON’T GET DRUNK! We don’t want to give any bad impressions to the locals. I’ve heard that these Brisbanites are pretty old fashioned!
2. DON’T go after stray dogs. They may not be vaccinated.
3. DON’T tell Aussies that we have the biggest of everything. They get a bit upset about that!
4. DO admire their city and tell them that you love their river. They'll LOVE that!
5. DO compliment them on their hospitality – (and DON’T abuse it!)
6. Finally, ENJOY yourselves, and report back to base ON TIME. THAT’S AN ORDER!
This is the very first adventure I created, back in 2002. In fact, I was just learning how to use PhotoShop and create the pictures, so this adventure is not anywhere near the standard of the Cruise stories which were to follow, but it is still entertaining.
Many of its admirers requested that I put it up on this website, so I have done so.
In brief, this is a fantasy adventure, featuring dogs belonging to members of the S'Wheat Rescues Group, and they are telling the story of dogs serving on a submarine in WW2.
(Well, I DID say it was a fantasy!)
Music has been added to enhance the atmosphere, and some of the content changed from the original in an attempt to improve the quality. The name of the submarine has also been changed because the original name was an actual submarine that was based here for some time, and which survived the war. I chose the new name, SEADOG, as it seemed appropriate, and if there was such a submarine, it was unknown to me and the choice coincidental.
Thestory begins when a notice arrives in Brisbane for the Commander of the submarine, the USS SEADOG.
The adventure unfolds from here, taking our furry friends into the thick of battle, and on some fun adventures on leave as well.
So I hope you will read and enjoy the stories about these cute, brave canines. The USS SEADOG and her amazing crew are ready to roll, and, as the author of this adventure, I close this introduction by saying:
"GOD BLESS THE USS SEADOG, AND ALL WHO SAIL IN HER!"
This revised presentation is dedicated to MURPHY W, who sailed to the Rainbow Bridge during its original creation and was farewelled in the stories, as his owner wished him to be. Another beloved crew member who journeyed to the Rainbow Bridge during the creation of the adventure was BUSTER the Photographer.
I make tribute to these, and many others who have embarked to the Rainbow Bridge since then, including Scruffy, Kaity, Scott, Elvis, Keeleigh, Murphy M, and dear Commander Barnaby.
I'm sure there are others I do not know about, as it is 8 years since this adventure began, but every member of the crew is remembered with love.
A P. June 2010
This is Lt Scruffy reporting from the USS SEADOG.
All of our shipmates are aboard, and we've just been told that we have liberty in Brisbane before departure for places as yet unknown. (Capt. Barnaby will be opening the sealed orders once we are out of Australian waters.) As you can imagine, we have a very busy crew, getting themselves all spruced up for those cute Brisbanites! Doggie shampoo and conditioner has been flowing, along with fragrant perfumes and extra care with grooming. The older salts helped the youngsters, and it was great to see such teamwork.
There are always a few clowns on a submarine, and the SEADOG certainly has its share! Seawoman Caelan, Seawoman Hazel and Seaman Cowboy were chasing poor Seacat Meka all around the sub, while PO Pixie was screaming the alarm in her high pitched voice. Everyone else thought it was funny!
Finally Lts. Bramble and Grady intervened and escorted Meka to the galley, where he could safely sniff out the mice without being disturbed. Meka was beginning to wonder if perhaps the enemy was a lot closer to home for him than enemy ships and aircraft!
Poor Seawoman Lacy O'Quinn was having a nervous breakdown and had to be calmed down by Lt. Meghan, the ships Counselor.
Just hearing Lacy screaming "CATastrophe! CATaclysm! CATatonic!!"was enough to give ANYONE a nervous breakdown. Anyway, all is calm now, and we are all waiting for the word to go ashore and discover the thrills and spills that Brisbane has to offer us.
This is Lt. Scruffy, War Correspondent, signing off.
LT RODDIE'S PARTY
PO. BOOGIE here, giving you all the dirt on that Pool Party that Lt. Roddie threw at his lush apartment in Hamilton, by the River. I tell you, that guy’s LOADED! You should see his car! He must have been born with a silver anchor in his mouth!
He has the biggest swimming pool we’ve ever seen this side of Honolulu, and the party got into fine swing as our crew began to roll up with cases of drinks under their arms. Boy, did we have a blast!
It had been a hot day and the humidity was still high in the late afternoon, so we all jumped in the pool to cool off. We had fun diving off the rocks at the side of the pool and then teasing the girls, who didn’t want to get their heads wet incase they spoilt their hair-dos. Funny creatures, girls! (OUCH! Scooch just kicked me!)
Some of us didn’t stay in too long, because we didn’t want to get sunburnt. Besides, it might have been a huge pool, but it was hard pressed to fit over 40 of us in at once, so we made room for others. I went up and relaxed in Roddie’s lounge room, along with Harold, Daisy, Bramble and Kaity, and we listened to music, laughed and chatted together and worked up an appetite. Petty Officer Ginger took a picture of us waiting (not so patiently!) for food, and our demands paid off because a few minutes later I saw Princess, Jazzy and Meghan starting up the Barbie. (Aussie for Bar-B-Q)
I decided to get a last dip in before supper and, just as the party was getting underway, who should hit the deck but Captain Barnaby and, yes, you guessed…ADMIRAL ANDREW!!!! Everybody froze on the spot until this rather jovial character said in a booming voice: “Carry on Shipmates!”(I suspected that he and the Capt’n had already been doing a spot of celebrating before they arrived!)
Capt’n Barnaby wasted no time getting into the pool, but the Admiral was a wee bit wobbly on his pegs, and decided to check out the Barbie, which was now filling the air with glorious smells of steak and sausages cooking. Wow! We were DROOLING in anticipation!
Wouldn’t you just know it, but that Seacat Meka turned up too! He wouldn’t go anywhere NEAR the pool, but hung around on the roof, watching us.
Another uninvited guest was a strange looking creature that Liam called a ‘KOALA’ – and it was going to be in for a rude awakening if it continued to trot gaily around the roof, where Seacat was lurking!
In a few more minutes, the Admiral returned and told us to get out of the pool because the FOOD was ON!! It made a funny picture, with Elvis in the process of diving in; - Hannah about to, and Scooch trying to decide! Roddie is just beginning to enjoy himself after entertaining the Capt’n with his witty conversation (You’ll note in the picture that he is still roaring laughing at one of Roddie’s jokes, while poor Duffy, in between them, is still trying to figure it out!) Rhett is looking like a model at the end of the pool, wearing a towel, and others are reclining in deck chairs. Some are climbing out and Zeus is wondering HOW to!
But LOOK AT THE ROOF! That Koala has just spotted Seacat and, Seacat has spotted HIM!! I have a distinct feeling that Australian Wildlife is in danger of losing one of its members! However, Liam assures me that Koalas are great Aussie fighters and have deadly claws! (and they look so INNOCENT!!)
Out of the water and in to the tucker! (food). We all dried off and lined up for our steak and snags. (Aussies call sausages ‘snags’.) Meghan and Jazzy were being kept busy at the Barbie and Princess was sitting nearby to relieve them. We all went back for seconds and thirds and SOME (who will remain nameless) actually went back for a FOURTH helping!
The beer was flowing, and all that swimming had worked up a colossal thirst so we got stuck into it. Liam reckoned that we drink like Aussies! (They must drink an awful lot, because we really sank a few that evening.)
With our tummies full and our hearts happy, the party began to wind down as some of our shipmates got drowsy. Others got very jolly and had the rest of us in fits of laughter. Hazel was dancing on the table and singing show hits. (I TOLD Liam he shouldn’t have let her taste his beer. It went straight to her head!) Liam was singing too – but it got VERY confusing because he was singing a different song from the one Hazel was singing! Bonnie Blue was trying to persuade Rhett to dance with her, and Kiss Me Kate and Grady were having a tug-o-war with a string of snags, while Colleen looked on with disgust at such carryings-on!
I have no idea where Roddie was! The last I saw of him was his tail disappearing behind the door with two girls in tow! (being a gentleman, I won’t say who they were!) The Admiral was not to be found and neither was the Capt’n! One of the girls told me that they were both out like lights in the lounge room.
So ended the Pool Party and Barbie. It was a great success and a fab time was had by all. Oh, and by the way, I actually SAW Seacat and that Koala PLAYING together in a gum tree!!
This is PO. Boogie signing off from the residence of Lt. Roddie,
THE PUB CRAWL
Click on the pause button of the first tune, then click on the white arrow to hear the second one.
This is Lt. Scruffy reporting on this evening’s Pub-crawl in Brisbane. Boy oh boy, did we paint the town red!
It all began at Roddie’s apartment, where some of the crew met up with him for a lift into town in his flash car. Well, the problem was that TOO MANY turned up and we couldn’t fit them all in! Roddie had to get a taxi to take the rest. There were a few groans over that, because EVERYONE wanted to ride in Roddie’s hot rod.
Anyway, it was a scream of a sight to see. Poor Winnie-May was trying to climb in; Clancy was running like the wind, afraid he’d get left behind, and Daisy, Dasher and Rosie were sitting on the road wondering what was going to happen next! Then Roddie emerged from his house and just about had a blue fit, because there was no room for HIM in his OWN car! And HE was the driver if you please!
We all met up at the Irish Club and sank a few coldies. It was there that I noted that Captain Barnaby seemed to be getting rather jolly again. I couldn’t figure out whether it was because he couldn’t hold his grog, or because he’d been indulging before we arrived. Anyway, Casey, who is under age, pushed his milk aside and swiped some of Andrew’s beer, while the girls sat down to enjoy some good Irish food. I noticed that Ginger ordered a beer, and she, Kaity, Daisy and Scooch were getting a bit merry. Bonnie Blue was drinking milk, along with Hazel, (who was under the watchful eye of Dasher) Bramble, Cooger, Hannah and Toby, who were all under age by Australian law.
Ulises really got pissed and put some silly red horns on his head and was telling everyone, in about three different languages, that he was a little devil! (I won’t argue with that!) The Admiral was shouting “AttenSHUN”while Casey hiccupped and Ginger burped out loud and felt really embarrassed about it! (After all, she IS the leader of the Crew Choir, and has to perform later on!) Captain Barnaby was singing silly songs, and that was when Ensign Buster snapped this VERY incriminating photo!
From here, many of us moved off to the next Pub, while some others remained at the Irish Club. Some of the choir members came with us, but promised Ginger that they’d be back in time to sing. I decided to go with the Pub-crawlers. That’s where the story was!
We arrived at the “Hair of the Dog” Pub, and by the time we finished there, we all needed it! (The ‘Hair of the Dog’ I mean!) Cowboy, Killian and Elvis got hooked on the Pokies, and the three of them were feeding their money in like it was growing in their whiskers! Cowboy had beginner’s luck, and came away with a jackpot, which Elvis hoped to win from him in a game of poker, but Cowboy just grinned and made a hasty exit. No flies on him!
From here we went to the“Drooling Dingo” and sunk a few more pints of the golden brew. Liam found the Pool Room, and we all tried our skills out against this cocky Aussie, who thought he couldn’t be beaten! (Some of the others put bets on him, while others bet on Scooch to win. Scooch had a reputation as a champion putter.)
I was taking notes, and being admired (I think!) by Bonnie Blue, while a bit of malarky was going on with Grady, who had sneaked Kaity’s beer while she was having her shot! She couldn’t figure out where it disappeared to! Scooch, who was a bit smashed after sinking several Aussie beers, (a lot stronger than American beer) kept telling everyone it was HER turn next, - whether it was or not! Daisy was watching the money she’d bet on Scooch going rapidly down the drain as Liam, who was sober, was clearly winning!
Three hours, and several pints later, we staggered back to the Irish Club and were just in time to see Ginger frantically trying to get the members of her choir together. It was hilarious! Andrew and Murphy were fighting over who was going to play the piano, and Grady, Kaity, Casey and Harold were clearly under the weather, and were having trouble standing on the stairs without swaying all over the place.
Anyway, all’s well that ends well, and the 17 members of the chorus did us proud as they sang in fine voice, our company song, 'WE ALL LIVE IN A S'WHEATIE SUBMARINE.'
So popular were they, that they received several requests from the audience to sing other songs, including the famous Aussie 'WALTZING MATILDA''.The room rocked with applause.
Roddie was too ‘out of it’ to drive home, so Buster drove, and there were lots of snoring bodies heaped up in the back of the car. Slowly, we made our way back to Roddie’s place and crashed.
It had been a great Pub-crawl, and we all felt that we had made the most of our last shore leave before setting off into harm’s way. The next morning, we would sleep in and get our heads clear for the task ahead.
This is Lt. Scruffy, signing off now from Hamilton, Brisbane.
Continued in Chapter 2
Copyright - A P - 2002-3